Friendship

We can not live without other people. We need others to meet our needs and to attain happiness. The saying describes the importance of communication in friendship.

Communication in our lives is mainly based on our relationship with others. We interact with others to share information. To exchange  ideas, to make plans, and to solve problems.

To maintain our good communication and relationship with others on friendship, we can take the three basic steps below.

Try to Listen

When communicating with others, listening is very important. Our partner will be happy if we pay attention to him. We should notice that listening also needs the facial expressions. When others talking to us, we should look at their eyes to show that we are interested in the topic. The basic principle in listening is giving and taking. This principle means that we should not only act as storyteller who dominates the conversation. We must also behave as as good listener when others are talking to us. We will always learn something new if we are willing to give opportunities to others to state their opinions. Surely, our friends will get very bored if we dominate the conversation.

Show Respect

We should be careful when we are engaged in a conversation. We should not underestimate our friends, we should respect them. To respect others, we should let them express themselves. We should also open ourselves to others so that we can develop our lives better. We should remember that we are not supposed to force others to do what we want. Different ideas, philosophy of lives, and characters will always enrich our understanding towards lives.

Give Smiles

 People believe that smiling is like an effective medicine that cures all diseases. When we say something wrong unintentionally, others will tolerate our mistakes if we honestly admit our mistakes. Asking for apologies while smiling is a good way to build closer relationship with others on friendship.

Speaking without smiling will indeed create a monotonous communication. However, we must also consider the situation in which we are engaged. In this case, we must understand whether we have a serious or relaxed conversation. When we discuss a serious matter, we should not smile too often so that we can maintain the atmosphere. To conclude, smile only when necessary.

How To Be A Loyal Friend

Anyone of us, everyone, can be loyal to our friends
A loyal person is the one who knows and upholds his dignity. Loyal people put themselves in a place that they should be. Loyalty is the "game" for honorable people as Latin proverb says : " Loyalty is the holiest good in the human heart."

The problem is you may think that you are a loyal person to your closes friends, but you do things that indicate you are not. It means that you don't know how to be loyal, although you want to be so. In fact, to be a loyal friend is not easy. Anyway, if you can be one and have one, you are most likely going to have a qualified life and be happy. A French proverb puts it this way: "A faithful friend is an image of God."

Here are some inspirations of becoming a loyal friend :
1. A loyal friend doesn't reveal his friend's secret. Whatever secret your friend has, you should keep it for yourself. You can reveal it to others if your friend tells you so. The more significant his secret is, the more careful you have to keep it. You are even required to tell a lie, if you are force to tell it. Once you reveal your friend's secret, especially if it spawns hostility to your friend, you are no longer loyal to him.

2. A loyal friend only tells his secret to his friend. It means that he believes and trusts his friend. Good friendship is when you can be yourself as sincerely as possible. You are not in the good relationship, if you have to be pretending to be someone else. Healthy friendship is two direction relationship. He keeps your secrets, and you keep his secrets. If you don't trust your friend, you are no longer loyal to her.

3. A loyal friend doesn't let his friend make mistakes. A loyal friend always care about his friend. Once you let your friend make a mistake while you know and have time to straighten it, but you don't do it, you are not a loyal friend. Loyal friends share experiences, good or bad. The bigger mistake your friend is going to make, the more obliged you are to tell him how bad it will likely give impact on him

4. A loyal friend lets his friend grow and develop. A loyal friend doesn't want to be a nuisance in his friend's education and life. A good friendship takes place if those who are in the friendship can grow and develop together. Good friends want to be good people together. They also support one another to achieve their ambition and life goals.

5. A loyal friend doesn't want to badmouth his friend. there is no time for gossip to grow in the good relationship. Once you hear something strange about your friend, you feel free to clarify it. It is not that you want to take a control of your friend, you only want to know the truth for the sake of friendship. In good friendship you can to talk to your friend, man to man. Badmouthing and friendship can not go together. Over and above, there is only two choices you have, and you have to take only one of the two. You want to be his friend or you want to be her friend or you want to badmouth him.

Function of Community Network

Before computer took center stage, the term community network was a sociological concept that described the rich web of communications and relationships in a community.

Recently, community member and activists all over the world are developing these community networks, often in conjunction with other local institutions including colleges and universities, libraries, local governmental agencies, and nonprofit organizations.

These community network some with user populations in the tens of thousands are intended to advance social goals, such as building economic opportunities in disadvantaged community. A community network accomplishes these goals by supporting smaller communities within the larger community and by facilitating the exchange of information between individuals and these smaller communities. Another community network objective is to provide electronic one stop stop shopping for community information and communication, by using discussing forums, question and answer forums ; electronic access for government employees, information and access to social services, electronic mail, internet services including access to the World Wide Web.

Community members interact with community network in various ways. Community network terminals can be set up at public places like libraries, school, community and senior centers, social service agencies, shopping mall. Community networks can also be accessible from home via computers and increasingly from the internet.

In recent years, activist have also been establishing community computing-centers where people, often in low-income neighborhoods, can become comfortable and adept with computer application and network services.

The actual services on a community network vary from system to system but there are some typical ones, such as providing information about nonprofit organization and government agencies. Community networks also offer on-line discussion capabilities on a limitless number of topics. Possible topics include pets, homelessness, region, gay activism, ask the mayor, alternatives educations, cultural events, and classes, public hearings, artist and craft person's forum, dental clinic, public safety updates, international news, and neighborhood news.

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Are you chronically over - committed? Rushing from one task to another, with no time for your self? The key is to have a strong vision of what you want to say yes to. Then you'll feel far more confident saying no. Here practical steps to say no without feeling guilty.

1. Decide which activities you truly love. If you say focused on those things, then the next time you are asked to volunteer or get involved in a time- consuming activity, just check in. If the request takes you too far from what you are already dedicating yourself to, it's easier to say no.

2. Get over the need to be nice. Stop being afraid to disappoint people, and let go of the sense of importance you get from being indispensable.

3. Be clear when you say no. No means no. Ambiguities like "Maybe after the first of the year "or" Let me get back to you" leave the other person thinking you're actually interested, when you' re not.

4. Practice saying no in non-threatening situations, when you have little at stake and success is almost assured. Then you'll work up to resigning from the board of directors and stop signing up for committe work. Learn that carving out time for yourself and your family requires no reason and no apology.

5. Say no to requests for money in simple language and give no explanation. Contribute to the causes that excite you and complement your values. Then you'll feel confident saying, "My contributions have already been allocated this year."

6. Keep it simple. The most effective nos are the least complicated. The more details you supply, the more likely the other person will challenge you or try to change your mind.

7. Make a compromise while you're learning to say no. If you're asked to bring cookies to an event, opt for store-bought sweets instead of slaving away in the kitchen.

8. Re-evaluate your current commitments. You may have agreed to a long-term commitments months ago but now see that it's not working for you. Talk with the people involved and come up with an arrangement that works for everyone.


Source : hello magazine, 2006

The Laws of Arguing

Not everyone can make a good argument, and not everyone can argue well. A good communication skill is required. What is the essence of argument and how to argue well? Below are some laws of arguing according to Gerry Spence:

1. Everyone is capable of making the winning argument.
2. Winning is getting what we want, which also means helping "others" get what they want.
3. Learn that words are a weapon and can be used hostilely in combat.
4. Know that there is always a "biological advantage" of delivering the truth.
5. Assault is not argument.
6. Use fear as an ally in public speaking or in argument. Learn to convert its energy.
7. Let emotions show and don't discourage passion.
8. Don't be blinded by brilliance.
9. Learn to speak with the body. The body sometimes speaks more powerfully than words.
10. Know that the enemy is not the person with whom we are engaged in a failing argument, but the vision within ourselves.

Source: Smart Stepz